Saturday 16 July 2011

Cats, Bats, Bells and Candles...or something like that!!!

OK so I'm a little late in writing my blog today... I haven't been online chatting for 3 days so people wanted to know if, in the words of one of MY favourite Discworld characters if I ATEN'T DEAD!!

Well no, I'm not! I definitely ATEN'T DEAD!!  I also had a WONDERFUL sleep... actually R.E.M. sleep for the first time in... well AGES!  And such a beautiful dream... but first a continuation of the conversation between Death and Joel....

As you might be aware, both Joel and Death share an affinity with CATS.... and I thought it might be rather amusing to chronicle a conversation between the two of them about it.  If you remember yesterday we left Joel trying to teach the Angel's some Guns n Roses (well I suppose it COULD've been Eric Clapton, but knowing Joel... it would've been GnR!!) and screaming out for want of a plekkie (pick to our American friends), and Death wandering off to presumably some other duties, but seeing as Death flits between the realms, it might be quite likely that they'd bump into each other again.... so here's another Death and Joel exerpt:

Hi Death, how's things with you?

AH MR MILBURN

Where's my Dad, he's not come here already has he, poor guy, he was fit, healthy, what was it, someone clip his bike....

YOU FATHER HAS (he pulled out an egg timer with little cycles around the top and bottom edges from between his robes) APPROXIMATELY 25 or 30 YEARS OF LIFE, THE SAND IS BEING SHAKEN UP BY THE CYCLES AT THE MOMENT SO I CANNOT ACCURATELY PREDICT, BUT I BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE MR. MILBURN

I suppose so but most people call me Joel or Bob or Oi you! or You little so n so or JOEL THOMAS MILBURN!!!!! Oh you need about 10 exclamation marks after that just so you can hear it echoing off the wall's as Pol screamed it the length and breadth of the house after I put Il Postini Pat and the theme tune on her desktop and ran to the loo!!  It wasn't POSTMAN Pat.... she just told me no POSTMAN Pat, said nowt about Il POSTINI Pat, tee hee hee!!

INDEED, I SHALL CALL YOU JOEL THEN, RIGHT?

OK, can all call you Boney?

IS THAT A NICKNAME?  I THINK IT A LITTLE INFORMAL....

That's kind of the idea....NOW WAIT A MINUTE... that's not right.....

...We see Joel stride (if you know Joel, you'll know that stride... mile a minute, only this time he's doing double time).....

Oh you little bar-stewards.... (he looks sidelong at some Angels that gasp at this almost swear word in Heaven) Oh give over... BASTARDS!!! (the Angels nearly faint) they are, they are rotten, cowardly little BASTARDS!!  Bending over a sack he undoes the knot and lets loose a mother cat and her 6 kittens, they look a little bedraggled and wet.

Death and Joel in unison: SOMETIMES I COULD GET VERY ANGRY  (<<note the wording is for both of them not just Death, Joel at this point is seething,... that's SEETHING, not Seether!!)

Sometimes I get flaming mad too

I THINK YOU'LL FIND THAT'S WAR, WHEN MRS. WAR LET'S HIM GET FLAMING MAD THAT IS!


No, I mean the (he searches to find a word that doesn't indicate illegitimacy and the letter b) INGRATES that commit such atrocities.  To CATS, well ok to any animals, children, women.... but cats is different!

(He kneels down and starts stroking the mother cat and the kittens are dancing all over him, he couldn't have been happier)

I miss the cats, all of them, especially... DINAH?! 

(A shadowy cat walks towards him, it is indeed his cat from so long ago)

I KNOW ALL THE CATS IN THIS REALM, SO NATURALLY I KNEW SHE WAS YOURS, SQUEEK IS HERE ALSO, JUST CALL AND SHE'LL COME, AND THE SIAMESE... JUST BE CAREFUL, BY THE LOOK OF YOU CALL ONE AND THE WHOLE HEAVENLY ... WHATEVER YOU CALL A COLLECTIVE GROUP OF FELINES.... WOULD COME BOUNDING TOWARDS YOU!  YOU SEEM TO LIKE CATS AS MUCH AS I DO.

Yea, (spit, spit) except when I have to EAT fur *giggle* DINAH stop trying to sit on my head just cuz Squeek wants my lap, and...erm... HOW many cats are in Heaven?

SEVERAL HUNDRED MILLION BY NOW I SHOULD IMAGINE, WHY?!

Time to check out the gig calendar in Hell, be back later....(runs off with a lope that Rincewind would be proud of... all he needed was a robe, a wiZZards hat and the words ohshitohshitohshit I've already died.... coming out of his mouth!)

MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE WARNED HIM... CATS LIKE THE WARMTH.......


Now that you've had your amusement for the day I thought I'd tell you about the dream I had.... it was nothing special in terms of dreams that YOU would find interesting or anything but to me it meant the world.  I felt like I was laying snuggled on Joel's shoulder and his arms around me.  I always said I felt safe and warm, protected and loved while I was in that position.

I remember running a competition for my status message (winner of the quiz would get to pick a status message and so long as it was decent I would post it for 1 hour)... the question was 'What is my most favourite place in the whole world'... it could have read in this existence, all realms physical and metaphysical, spiritual, imaginative... well you get the idea, there's nowhere I would feel more relaxed or wanted to be more than this place.  People were getting quite good GEOGRAPHICAL guesses.  I finally said it wasn't anywhere you could find on a map (I suppose if you had Googlemaps or the CIA with binoculars you might've managed it on a map, but I'm talking Ordnance Survey maps or AA/RAC road maps, Atlas of the World...)  some people guessed 'Bed'... good guess since at least 8 hours would be spent in there per day, sometimes more if Joel was poorly with his pancreatitis or if I had a migraine and needed to take tablets and sleep it off in a dark room......finally someone that knew me well logged in, saw the status message and said unfaltering 'In Joel's arms'.

There is a saying to the affect:

Woman was made from man's rib... To be under his arm for protection, by his side for warmth and next to his heart for love.

I don't know who wrote it but if you do, please comment and let me know.  But it's how I felt whenever I was in Joel's arms.

Now one of the things I've been really been missing is his hugs, so it was really special, to me, to feel that safety and warmth, and to have the most gorgeous, deep and refreshing sleep I've had in months!  Thanks Joely hun, love you!!

On that note, since it's almost 5am, I'm off to bed, once I've given you a nice picture of Joel to giggle at!

Closest I could get to a pic with him and cats.... surprising really - I'll have to find the pictures I have of him in bed with the cats.


Until later folks... sweet dreams!  I'm off to dream of Joel!

Oh and the Bats.... found my wedding gift from Joel today, ok technically yesterday... a huge Alchemy Gothic bat necklace, the bells, not sure where that one came from, and I've FINALLY got some candles in my 2 altar (aka Joel's "shrine") green pagan, pentacle candlesticks!... so there you go 3 out of 4 ain't bad!! *grins*

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