I didn't get up until about 1pm, but I was awake until 5am... so not surprising!!
There's not a whole not happening today other than me running back and forth to the loo (like I said major allergy to Sunderland lol lol) and doing more laundry so this blog post will be a short one.
I have managed to calm myself down after the weepy session yesterday and I'm feeling somewhat better. Given that a) I'm not cold b) I remembered a long time ago what Joel said to me - you will always be married to me in your heart and your head. Oh and my eternity ring showed up, so while I have the outward symbolism of my marriage and handfasting to Joel, my heart is back on the right tracks and I'm not bawling that his love has left me. He died as my husband, lover, best friend, confidante and he's still all them. He loves me still. As my darling friend and sister Gill, who performed our handfasting said in a text (I had sent a panicky email one day asking if we were still handfasted) 'As I phrased it you are handfasted for this life and all that is to come beyond. Just because one of you isn't visible it doesn't change that, he's still around and probably watching you in the bath!!' She knows Joel VERY well!! LOL
Because of all this new found 'I'm still in love with my husband whom I'm married to forever...' I'll leave you with a couple of pics of the wedding and handfasting.
|Sophie, Mam and Joel discover the footprint on the back of Paula's dress....|
The blogger and/or my computer is playing up today so you only get the one photo and I promise more once the issue is resolved. My internet has been playing up today.